Accepting that the career path I'd envisioned for myself isn't the one I'm meant to follow.
To know me is to know that I’m not a risk taker. I play things safe. I always do what I think is expected of me, what is secure.
I was super involved in high school as yearbook editor, varsity cheerleading captain, NHS, honors classes, graduated with a stellar GPA, & the list goes on. I went on to college and, again, did what I thought was expected—joined a great sorority, was very involved on campus, held 2 jobs at once, one being an unpaid internship, double-majored in management & marketing, was accepted into the honors college, met my future husband, & graduated on time with a wedding date set & a great job lined up in the corporate world. I moved down to Baton Rouge (where my husband is from) to start my adult life, started my new job, got married, added 4 dogs to the family, bought a home, started growing our family, & loved every minute of it. Don’t get me wrong, there were some bumps in the road & plenty of reality checks that hit me pretty hard including, but not limited to, adulthood & the dedication it takes to excel in a career. But as I learned & adapted, I began to thrive—at work more than anywhere else.
I loved the hard work. I loved the sense of fulfillment I received after a job well done, receiving an “atta girl” or “great work” from a superior. I loved how important these jobs & activities made me feel. I was somebody that was needed, valued, & could be counted on to excel in any task. I was willing to do whatever work it took to ensure success. You see, I’ve always identified myself by my title—the job that I have, the club I’m involved in, and so on. I’ve always been so proud of the work that I’ve done that my various titles have been what defined me. My job has been my identity since my college years. When I was pregnant, I thought surely a baby wouldn’t change this, right? It’s how I’d always been. I’d always derived my joy from my work. Plus, there were strong women surrounding me who had successful careers and kids. They did it all, why couldn’t I?
And then, a tiny little girl named Madelynn came into the world & shook up everything that I thought I knew about life, what’s important, & myself. Suddenly, I was Madelynn’s Mom, & that title challenged everything I thought I knew about who I was. Before she was born, I thought it was my job to show her the world, but I’ve learned lately that she was really sent to show me. Strangely enough, as I settled into my new job as her mom, I found that my new title of Mom was enough for me.